( A scene of DiporBil clicked exactly a year back)
Dear Earth,
I have been sitting and wondering for a while. When did I loose you? My feet have long awaited to be held by you. The white ceramic tiles of my apartment don't hold me but simply let me
walk on them. I have long forgotten the taste of rain. My Kent purifier promised cleaner water. I have stopped looking up at the sky, to see clouds pass by in all shapes and colours. You see, Netflix has come to be more entertaining. I am now scared from animals, all animals- forgetting that I am them.
As a virus restricts my movement, I wait to eat in busy malls, stroll in crowded streets and dance in disco bars. I have forgotten the urge to sleep under your sky and wake up to Sun's first rays. I have learnt the wrong things from wrong sources and have been left with little joy. I have drowned myself in politics of power. I am a prisoner of a fast moving life running at the tick of a clock and not the shades of the day. I am entangled in carefully laid illusions of success. I am burried under the screams of hate. Screams of hate run in Televisions, Instagram and Youtube. Earth, I have stopped noticing that you revolve and change everyday, just like me.
Earth I have lost you because I have lost myself. I've given up on my needs, happiness and bliss. If I had really loved myself, I would have loved you.
Every cell of my body, that lives and dies, is part of you. I'm made from, by and for you. I'm an animate being run by inanimate sources. I'm the Earth and the Earth is me. If I loved myself I wouldn't strain to keep up with a bullet train. I wouldn't build a house on a house. I would stay closer to you. I would not drown in the noise of malls, screams of TV and rush of streets. I would bathe in your silence. I would wake up to see green and blue. I would witness birds flying in colours. I would not close windows but run out on streets and drink the rain to quench a longing thirst.
If I loved myself, I would love you.
And isn't it love that you really need? How foolish I have been to think that you need policies, politics and activism, when what you needed was love. True love. If I loved you Earth, I wouldn't hurt you. I would care for you with compassion, with thought and feeling.
So I'll love myself and in turn love you. I realize my connection with you. You have existed before and will exist after me. I'm passing by only to return again in another form. And in each form, I will remain a part of you and you a part of me, inseparable and whole.
Yours Lovingly