There must be a point where the loop begins before it turns itself into a squiggle and, given its nature, we aren't entirely hopeless trying to tweak its end. Flashing a tad bit of light one could possibly preserve after flogging a dead horse, it comes across as a clump of intertwined realities. Try to separate the strands and you would lose in the process an eternity, and if you're lucky, just a slightly bigger fraction of your youth. Why did I say strands when it appears to be a single loose thread? Get yourself a rough sheet and start doodling without lifting your pen until you perceive a slight variation in its essence from the first time you started scribbling. May be just a momentary falter from your insides kicking or an impulsive shake from your bowels growling, or a disturbance simply because your pen starts throwing ink - whatever reason may it be, the littlest deflection makes your curves discontinuous. Sometimes this mishap is visible and other times, it's not. Sometimes it leaves a blot, and other times, an unflattering smudge. Well, if you're a doodle artist you've probably gotten used to these occasional casualties and also figured out a way. But how do you deal with the sudden urge to do something else? How do you beat the profanity what we call being productive in day-to-day basis? Even before the thought of stopping the doodle midway forms completely in your mind, you stop doing it. Unlikely, but procrastination at times drifts these thoughts away and you get back to your little, unconscious art. Did you start from the point you left? What about the death of so many nows wasted on an afterthought? What about the gaps you just created on your time axis? The fate of the doodle surpassing the n number of possibilities wasn't supposed to have loopholes but may be that's an ideal situation. Even the most meticulous hands are bound to err and probably all minds to break continuity. Now imagine how many blots and smudges we must have caused and how many "not now" moments have slipped before our eyes before we could do something about making our doodle perfect - an art as intricate and tangled as it was always supposed to be. But where is the beginning? Where is end? We're probably bound to stay in the loop, forever.
Nirmali Medhi
This is so good.