"FIR has been filed Sir"

Chapter Two:- The Heart-Rending Day!

"Who are you? Why do you need my help? How can I help you?"

A sudden wind gust made the window open and close. Cold sweat droplets covered her forehead, throbbing heart, and shrieks behind her lips, Lily woke up distressed. What was that? I was having a conversation with someone in my dream and ignored it! She quenched her thirst and closed the windows. It was the 16th of October, wow it's Dad and Mom's 29th anniversary. The wide smile on her face turned into a sudden grimace and looking at the date she switched off her mobile phone.

"Where are you? I miss you every single day. We miss you! Things would have been very different if you were here today. Life would have been much more stable. There wouldn't be some voids in our lives. I wish wherever you're may God bless you and may you stay happy and safe." Sitting silently on her bed, there was a conversation going on at the back of her mind.

Mrs.D'Souza was constantly washing a clean utensil. Lily went and hugged her saying, "Happy 29th wedding anniversary my loving Mom." "Please, be quiet. This isn't a day to celebrate. Tell me what I should celebrate for?", said Mrs. D'Souza.

" It wasn't your fault. It has 21 been years. How long will you both keep grieving over it? I know that void can never be fulfilled but especially you both can't always hold on to it. Please, Mom at least you take a step forward and wish Dad today. Shhh..don't utter a word. Don't I know about every letter that you have written for Dad to wish him a happy wedding anniversary that you have always hidden in your cupboard?", said Lily. Mrs.D'Souza replied that I think you're right. Let me wish him today. Both of them hugged each other.

The windows of the room were ordered to refuse any amount of light to enter the room. In a small corner, Mr. D'Souza was sitting hugging the heavy metal suitcase sobbing constantly as if he was mourning! Mrs.D'Souza knocked on the door. He turned with puffy eyes, suppressing the sound of hiccups he managed to say, "Since when did you need permission to enter our room, Margaret?" She comforted him and offered him a glass of water. "It wasn't so. Please don't cry and she also started to weep."

He said, "It wasn't yours either. Please don't cry". After wiping out her tears she said,

"Happy...Happy Anniversary dear", finally she gathered enough courage to speak it. Mr.D'Souza looked at her with anger burning in his eyes as if questioning her how did she dare to say those words. " How can you be so insensitive? Does your heart not bleeds today? It's not a day to even be happy! It's a heart-rending day and you're wishing me a happy wedding anniversary!!"

"Yes, my heart bleeds every second. It is only me who knows what I have been going through for the past 21 years. I haven't revealed my pain doesn't mean that I am not hurt. I have pretended to be so strong and never cried in front of you. I have stood firm so that you can shed tears because I knew if not to me then where shall you go!!! Being a man, this society will ask you not to cry and be strong. But since I wanted you to express yourself instead of concealing this pain in your heart, I never showed up that I am too hurt!

Well, I know, even before birth girls are expected to take care of everyone's happiness and well-being. How can I fail to stand by these expectations! You know what: My father is a wonderful man and thus I believed that every man is wonderful. Although I never wanted to marry none.Since, you were my father's choice, I happily agreed. However, I cried the day when the name

" Margaret Sebastian" was changed to "Margaret D'Souza", the name that my father gave me. The only name that had been my sole identity since birth! I never liked to see 'Father's name' being replaced with 'Husband's name' in every official document. Well, as I know just sharing surnames, home, and meeting everyone as Mr. and Mrs. D'Souza is not what marriage means. It's beyond such materialistic things. It's to be a shield in one's sorrow and being a part of one's happiness. It's understanding, respecting, and caring for each other. How will you understand my emotions when you're only concerned about your pain? We all have lost something in one way or the other. There are our children and their futures. There is the rest of our lives. And if you can see, by removing the blindfold covering your eyes, there is " me" who is drained by pretending to be strong and happy just for you and our children. There is "me" who is responsible to understand everyone but who is responsible to feel her? Only if you can see, only if you can understand what am I going through for the past 21 years!

Only if you can,

Mr. John D'Souza!!!!" ( It was the first time in the entire 29 years of marriage that she called him directly with his name, and listening to this he was surprised!)

Tears welled up in her eyes. She sighed heavily, letting her head drop, she violently shut the door and left.

Mr. D'Souza was left in shock and somewhere he was trying to introspect but he couldn't!

Days passed away and the only conversation that Mr.and Mrs.D'Souza used to have was either related to meals or for showing in front of their children. Whilst this, Lily had been having the same dream repeatedly. When she shared it with her mother, she was asked to not watch horror movies and read horror novels anymore. According to her, that dream was the outcome of getting excessively engrossed in such stuff! But Lily felt that it was all so strange.

One day sitting idly in her room she took out those letters and began reading.

'My dear Rose'...the light bulb in her room for a moment started to flicker. She ignored it and continued to read. Every time she read, 'My dear Rose', she would get lost somewhere thinking something and then would continue to read shaking her head.

She has now read all the letters, packed them, and hid them below her bed. Lily was constantly praising that man 'George'. She recalled that in one of the letters, George had written for Rose to reply to him by writing on the other side of the letter and keep them in the left section of the almirah in the box that he had gifted her. He is eagerly waiting for her reply. So, out of curiosity, she secretly went to the second floor and brought whatever was in the left section. There was a suitcase, a small beautiful box on which 'Waiting for your reply' was engraved. But it was empty. Maybe, Rose never replied to George's thank you letters! Lily was surprised to found this and thought why? How can one not reply to such sincere and sweet letters! She hid that suitcase and box below her bed. Now she was going through the wedding album and the elegant jewelry. But she was lost in looking at George and Rose's wedding photographs.

Suddenly electricity went off. She hid everything below her bed. Sun was setting, hence, she decided to walk in the garden. There was a Night-Blooming Jasmine shrub that attracted her. Instead of walking, she chose to sit near it and enjoy its beauty and aroma. The ground was quite wet but she didn't bother. And unknowingly, she laid down facing up with the head to the west and the legs to the east just like a corpse. Dramatically, the night-blooming jasmine flowers flew and spread over her entire body. She felt a bit faint and tingling on her right hand to which she scratched with her left hand's sharp nails. Tiny blood drops splattered on the ground and were absorbed by the mud as soon as it came in contact with it, yet the ground was already wet! The atmosphere has lapsed into a sullen silence!

When Lily tried to get up, she felt as if someone is grabbing her inside. With lots of effort, she managed to stand up. The sky above appeared to her as dark grey whirlpools approaching her and the ground below her feet was sinking rapidly!

Unaware of what was happening, she kept blinking, rubbing her eyes constantly and within seconds everything was back to normal. But was Lily too? While she was getting into the home, her eyes were starting red roses in the garden. Her body was trembling without a pause that even her face got entirely covered by her jet black hairs. Abruptly, a hand from behind was placed on her shoulder, and she stopped shivering.

Whose hand was that? Is Lily alright? What has happened 21 years ago? What has the D'Souza family lost?

To be continued...

Stay tuned....😊

~Kaynat Sultana Qureshi