What will I tell my younger self?
Embrace the heartache and let it strengthen you. I love romance movies so much because they make me imagine if loving someone in real life was actually that possible.
In a lifetime of watching romantic movies and reading romantic books, I can't begin to count the number of times I've thought this would be what I wanted, or how many times I've said to myself, I'd like that.
Throughout my life, I have been loved and I have had the chance to give love to others and I think if you asked me at the age of 42 if I would do it all over again, my answer would be yes. I want you to hear what I have to say!
A lot of people have fled from love and some are still running until this very moment and it can be totally understandable. Imagine giving your entire being to one human being. There is nothing worse than loving someone so much that your whole body feels the pain and absence of that person when they are absent. Imagine loving someone so desperately and tenderly that it feels like you’re loving yourself only to be left miserable like a hopeless child asking for candy.
I was only 19 years old when I felt such heartache and even until now, it is a pain I like to describe as the builder of character. I can’t exactly say I regret it but I can say it completely reshaped me. Some people would say falling in love at such a tender age was risky but I don’t think love knows age, class or gender. Love has no favourites or enemies. It just gives out.
This guy was the perfect definition of perfection in God's eyes.
All the Bible verses and quotes and humanitarian references blindsided me to believing he was what I needed. Never been in love but I sure was willing to fall for this man right here. He definitely had me at hello and I’d be damned if my butterflies didn’t grow wings that second. I felt a connection that I had never known before. I was drawn to him in a way that was unexplainable but I knew it had to be something special. I was so excited for the future and the potential that we had together.
I was willing to give up everything for this feeling, and I was ready to give him my all. I knew that with the right person, I could finally find the happiness that I had always wanted. I was willing to take that leap of faith and take a chance on love. Nevertheless, not all love stories have a happy ending like the movies portray.
My ending was bitter and suicidal but I'm willing to fall in love a thousand more times. I'm willing to exhaust all of the beautiful red hearts and all of the I loves you because I have so much more to give and also because i don't believe in hard girl no dey love.
Beautiful.